2004

BOYZ

After 14 years, it's Coughenours 11, everyone else 3.  And the Paul of the species has 7 of the 11.   And don't let anyone tell you this is a bad thing.  In the opinion of The Committee, the Scramble Championship is won by those who chase it the hardest, not those who might look good on paper or think they should win because the C's have won it too often.  No way baby!  Tiger winning the Masters by 12 doesn't compare to the overwhelming force of Team Envy in setting a new WACOFF Scramble record at 63. Bravo, Team Envy.  You have seen the rest of the results, and congratulations to all the winners in every category and competition.  The drug testing results will be communicated shortly.

The Committee is pleased to learn that so many of you have recognized the pragmatic realities of growing old and are devoting yourselves to a more healthful and less rigorous lifestyle, including getting plenty of sleep on weekends and carefully monitoring your intake of  liquid calories and carbohydrates.  If fact, judging by the energy level at Yarrow at 11pm on Friday night, The Committee was worried that perhaps a sleepover was too much for some of you and perhaps next year we should stay closer to home so as to allow for a good nights sleep and ready access to the medicine cabinet.  Perhaps 9 holes at Warren Valley and a coney dog then off to bed??  To further this positive trend, next year The Committee will arrange for an earlier and shorter dinner and program so those of you who need 12 hours of sleep a night can get started right away.   Jon Snyder will be leading meditative yoga at sunrise on Friday morning and after Scramble on Saturday Joe Labarge will teach a seminar on using a positive Christian mental attitude to alter your unhealthy lifestyle .

However, The Committee did notice that this devotion to a healthful and prudent lifestyle reflected itself on the golf course, as many of you enjoyed some outstanding rounds.  The overall scores were as low as ever recorded at WACOFF.  The Golf Committee once again deserves high accolades and praise for the course selection, competition set up and overall ambience on the links this year.   This extends also to the Shoot Out Sub-Committee, which brought a wonderfully fresh competition and entertainment to our stable of things to do while not drinking. Well done, Chuck Brown, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

On the softer side, The Committee experienced several magical moments this weekend (as the old and feeble tend to do as their brains atrophy), none of which include either the limo ride or the lesbians on parade wrestling match on Thursday, the telling of which The Committee will leave to eyewitnesses.   In no particular order:  (1) The long post round scene on the deck overlooking the 18th at Yarrow on both Friday and Saturday was the essence of WACOFF golf, with those trying valiantly to finish their round below suffering endless insults and indignities at the hands of the finishers above.  It seems we were out assholed by the group behind us, but I am sure we can put on a better show next year.  (2)  The Stimson rememberance of Deke put a lump in more than one throat.  Words and emotion that can only come from a true friend.  Thanks for helping us say goodbye, John.  (3)  Standing on an elevated tee at Yarrow at noon on Saturday, with the sun shining and looking around the course and seeing only the 28 of us, the Seven Deadly Sins come to life, with the course to ourselves, bright as peacocks.  Could have been a Beatles song.   (4)   Hearing the amazing roar from the tee on Saturday that we unmistakably, undeniably and instantly knew meant that someone had aced the hole.  When it turned out to be Labarge, it only made it more larger than life.  Thanks for the drinks Joe!  Will anyone else get one before you get your third?  (5)  The Bretz recovery shot in the shootout final round, stiff to the pin, after Palmer put it deep in 18 inches of grass on a side hill 60 yards short of the green, and the crash of Raymond/Donahue in the face of the sheer magnificence of that shot.  I saw the lie.  It was a fine golf shot.  (6)  The sight and sounds of some old friends who stayed away too long.  Very happy to see Harding, Donahue, Raymond, Coon and Duneske again.  See you next year??

All in all, a good 14th edition.  The Committee thanks the many who contributed, including the inimitable Ron Hardesty for the shirts, cool towels, great hats, and Invocation (but need to rethink this  color contest concept, we didn't get it), but most of all for his enthusiastic exuberance for all things WACOFF; John Stimson for the ever growing archival collection (which was actually displayed quite dramatically this year if anyone noticed); David Hardesty for soliciting sponsorship to pay for the beer keg (which you guys drank almost 1/4 of; aren't you proud?!) and for his unrelenting but always annoying quest to take the group picture which despite all our bitching will end up a proud possession for all of us (if we ever get a copy); Joe Mantey for handling the skins (you can't keep the $ Joe); Glenn Coughenour for his professional, calm and bookie like management of  the paramutuel; Marshal Hyman for the performance prizes (no booze next year, Marsh, it's insulting to this crowd); Randy Moss for the Thursday Game which he somehow managed to NOT attend.  However, The Committee is informed that it was a great success.  And to Andrew, The Committee will be making a donation to the American Red Cross in your name to support emergency trauma treatment centers in rural areas near the WACOFF tournament, just in case.

Thanks boyz.  See you next year.

THE COMMITTEE