ON THE ORIGIN OF "VULCAN"
M. Hyman
S. Pruss
August 2001
I note with much too much interest that the color assigned to team P. Coughenour is "vulcan" which brings me to question whether vulcan is, in reality, the name of a color at all. At the same time, I am confident that my wife and daughters have full vulcan color wardrobes, with matching accessories, and, if not, I am sure they soon will, and that I will pay for it dearly. My suggestion is that colors for teams in an event as prestigious as the Wacoff Scramble Championship, need be less dramatic, less cute.
Not that I am one to complain or be critical of anyone or anything, but team colors such as sky, blanc, and the rest could cause some derision. Complements to all the hard work of the committee.
Marshal Hyman.
Marshall,
You raise an important matter. and we must accept some responsibility for the team names. The suggestion that one might offend the sensibilities and efface the dignity of that that is Wacoff should be presented to the Committee along with other canonical matters in the Ecclesiastical Session, whose deliberations, if I recall correctly, were informed last year by a Member's happy manipulation, within the hottub, of his valve, to produce a bubbling staccato counterpoint to the waterjets, and Another's olfactory expectoration of warm margarita and cigarette butt, induced by the 10th telling, but first hearing (due to acute synaptic paralysis), of Labarge's donkey story.
As to "Vulcan": Deep in the bowels of the earth, molecules halt and grind creating elemental forces so great that mineral, rock and metal surrender their form, surging irresistibly forward hundreds of miles, until released in an exploding orange volcanic burst of incendiary terror, destroying everything before it in pyroclastic waves.
Sort of what can happen in the Scramble under Paul's leadership.
S. Pruss for
The Outfitting Subcommittee
WOMBAT vs PYTHON
T. Guerriero
August 2003
In the service of truth and full disclosure, I feel compelled to advise
the attendant faithful of the following well known and undisputed facts concerning the "vicious wombat":
They are herbivores - they like grasses, tree roots and soft mosses.
(Watch out, Randy. Stay hard.) To keep themselves clean they have a dust bath. They lie on their side and scoop sand over themselves. Wombat droppings are called scats. Each wombat's scats have a different smell. They leave them outside their burrows. Scats help a wombat find its own burrow when it returns after a busy night looking for food. They also tell other wombats if a burrow is occupied.
Thus, we learn that wombats, far from being a ruthless predator, are basically wimpy vegetarians. They wash themselves with dirt. They shit outside their homes in order to make sure they can find their way home by the smell of their shit, and to keep other shitting wombats away.
Woe to those who play behind these guys!
Pythons rule.
FLYING SQUIRRELS AS MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
D. Bretz
August 2003
Rather than resort to canned computerized research to ascertain the meaning behind the Committee's wizened choice of team colors, perhaps we should look to the deeper symbolic significance in these assignments.
There is a message intended by the All Knowing, an augury of things to come more than the simple selection of a "team color." The use of animal symbolism is the key to unlocking this mystery. There are various beings chosen: birds, reptiles and warm blooded mammals. Each has unique and specialized traits for adaptation and survival. But which of these creatures possesses traits that transcend its type? Which has a true genius, a superpower? In other words, which can not only drive for show, but putt for dough? After studied analysis, the answer to this encoded mystery comes clear. While some can fly, and others can slither, burrow
or sleep, only one of these animals has true crossover talent. Only one can stand or walk on 2 or 4 legs, climb a tree in a heartbeat, and.............fly through the air with the greatest of ease.
Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no
it's..............The Flying Squirrel!
Verily, it is writ, it shall come to pass.
Rocket J. Squirrel
THE NOBLE FAUNA OF WACOFF
B. Goldman
August 2003
Stimson leads to mortal combat
Noble men attired in wombat
Squirrel-clad men of Captain Bretz
Fev'rishly getting down their bets
Nielson and the team of bunting
Victory and glory hunting
Coughenour's come in threes
The J's, the P's and then the G's
Python, oriole and mole
Men with but a single goal
Hats and baubles, shirts and fobs
Fuck the chores and fuck the jobs
'Tis the season of the WACOFF
'Tis the season of the WACOFF
'Tis the season of the WACOFF
Rise me lads and sing
"ODE TO JAY"
August, 2005
D. Hardesty
I sing of Blue Jay, fine and stately bird,
with deadly beak, with head so nobly crested.
Whose raucous voice so proudly spreads the word
that, on the course, it never can be bested.
Against this fearsome creature, who could stand?
What member of the avian universe,
(had it one) would dare to raise a hand,
and see its fortunes go from bad to worse?
Nocturnal Barn Owl? Hooting mouser, he
who hides 'mong rafters, shrinking from the light?
While Phoebus rules, this bird can barely see!
Alas, for him, the game's not played at night.
Or Egret, he of spindly leg, and beak
so thin and long and pointy, so absurd?
Who lurks in puddles, waiting for a week
to catch a fish -- he hopes to land a bird?
The Cardinal is red, that much allowed,
but saying that, what more of it be said?
It has no fierceness of which to be proud.
Its chances? Somewhere just 'tween slim and dead.
And Finch, purportedly of golden hue,
a tweety, sweety bird so mild and mellow,
must run and hide. What else is it to do?
Its plumage isn't gold -- this bird's just yellow.
Think you that Kestrel mighty hunter be?
To find this kind of hawk, look under "sparrow."
Methinks it better he stay in his tree
than risk inglorious defeat at Yarrow.
And what of that hyena of the sky,
this Raven, lacking either wit or skill
enough to earn its living on the fly?
Just like its dinner, Raven's mere road-kill.
So here's to mighty Jay! We drink to you,
oh, royal blue commander of the air!
And to the four WACOFFS, your namesakes, who
will take the trophy, by "fowl" means or fair!
FURTHER ODE TO JAY
J. Coughenour,
August 2005
There once were some Jays from Nantucket
They wrote lyric and poem though it sucketh
And where birds come to play, there's a smell some would say
Those Jays shit more than geese, what the fucketh?
FURTHER FURTHER ODE TO JAY
R. Moss,
August 2005
your bird is absurd,
yes that is the word.
we also heard it smells like a turd...
not to mention that the team as a whole is one big nerd
THE DWARF SONG (with apologies)
R. Hardesty
August 2006
From: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Music: Frank Churchill
Lyrics: Larry Morey: rewritten by Doc Hardesty
We drive drive drive drive drive drive drive on the tee the whole day through
To drive drive drive drive drive drive drive is what we really long to do
To play at WACOFF feels real good
When you drive drive drive a big one wood
On the tee! On the tee! On the tee! On the tee!
Two dozen and two WACOFFs be!
We putt putt putt putt putt putt putt from early morn till night
We putt putt putt putt putt putt putt 'n sink everything in sight
We putt to save a bigger score
We like one putts, who needs more
Three putts all of us deplore
We putt putt putt a putt putt
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's from the course we go
(Whistle)
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's from the course we go
(Whistle)
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
(Whistle)
Heigh ho, heigh ho
To make your troubles go
Just keep on golfing
All day long, heigh ho
(Whistle)
Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho
Heigh ho, heigh ho
The whole wide world should know
A WACOFF can't go wrong
With a heigh, heigh ho
Heigh ho, heigh ho
It's from the course we go
Heigh ho, heigh ho
Heigh ho, heigh ho
All seven in a row
With a heigh, heigh ho
DWARF APOLOGIA
D. Hardesty
August 2006
Your obt svt has picked up rumblings of possible discontent regarding the teams being named for the seven dwarfs. That is quite curious since, of course, the idea came from my reading of the Committee's intent and preferences as indicated by the various omens which It presents to me. The goat entrails were, I thought, particularly clear on the point.
Anyway, I believe that the Committee's doubts might be removed on further reflection. First, there is nothing negative intended or, I believe, implied by the pairing of dwarfs and teams. Think about it --- I have assigned the most potentially perjorative -- "Dopey" -- to my own team. Second, some small research into the subject reveals that there is something positive, nay admirable, about each of the little fellers. I refer you to http://disney.go.com/vault/archives/sharacters/sevendwarfs/sevendwarfs.html for bio sketches about the dwarfs. After reading about his particular dwarf, Brer Coughenour softened to the idea substantially.
More to the point, however, the assignment of team names is simply for the purpose of giving the boys some fodder for repartee and insults and boasting and all of the rest of the stuff that goes around WACOFF. I think this theme will provide plenty of opportunity for such railery.
Consider -- the boys have been able to rally their wits around fucking vegetables, for chrissakes!
Finally, I ask the Committee to consider how many new categories of seven things which correspond to the particular seven colors of the shirts one can come up with. We've done birds, animals, birds of prey, vegetables, animals again, whatever the category was for team "coral" and the like. What group of stuff has light blue, navy, green, white, gray, black and khaki things in it? In other words, gimme a fucking break! What did you come up with? Kinds of liquor? Exactly what khaki liquor you thinking of, or Hunter, or navy?
Excuse me, I started to get a little carried away there. Here's perhaps the bottom line. I am always willing and eager to bow to the Committee's will regarding work assignments, and will not scream or cry if someone else gets this particular plum next time. Nor would I object to constructive suggestions sufficiently in advance of the deadline to permit consideration and intelligent dialoge. But the time is now, the choice is made, it bears a reasonable relation to the number of teams, and its fucking Disney, more than which nothing could be more American.
All that being said, let the Committee speak as it will, and I will obey.
THE SNOW WHITE RAP
Hyman
August 2006
No, no, no, it is not true that all of the seven dwarfs were gay. It turns out that Happy was the only heterosexual of the group, and rumor has it that he was such a fabulous lover that the maidens all could not wait for their chance to get Happy. In fact, Snow White was given her first name nickname after being intimate with Happy. The other dwarfs were eavesdropping on the two lovers, when Ms White exclaimed, "There is no one who is like you, big guy!" The dwarfs heard this as "S'no one like you, big guy," either because Sleepy yawned or Sneezy sneezed. It doesn't really matter, but from then until now Ms White was known at first as S'no White, which the fable writers later adapted to Snow. This is not widely known, but you can look it up.
SILLY SONG COVERS, 2009
ODE TO KETTLE BLACK
(To the tune of Los Bravos’ “Black is Black”)
August 2009
Ron Hardesty
KETTLE BLACK IS BLACK
We want the Trophy back
No RUST or WHITE
That would not be right, Ooh-Ooh
What will we do?
We’ll ta-a-a-a-ake that Cup from you!
We’ll have our way
And win on Saturday
When it all ends
We’ll have that Cup again, Ooh-Ooh
What, PRIUS BLUE?
We’ll ta-a-a-a-ake that Cup from you!
Give us some booze
The cup we’ll not loose
Wow! We’re on track
This year it’s KETTLE BLACK
TORRID TAUPE?
They’ll do a rope-a-dope
Five teams behind
BLACK has peace of mind, Ooh-Ooh
Poor NAVY BLUE.
We’ll ta-a-a-a-ake that cup from you.
KETTLE BLACK IS BLACK
We’ll take the Trophy back
The rest will say
“The Trophy went away, Boo-Hoo”
What can you do?
We’ll ta-a-a-a-ake the Cup from you.
We’ll ta-a-a-a-ake the Cup from you.
DREAMING OF A WHITE WACOFF
AUGUST 2009
T. GUERRIERO
Ah yes, its coming back to me now. Virgin White counters Los Bravos (who?) with:
We're dreaming of a White Wacoff
Not like the one you others hope to know
Where the Virgin birdies fall
And the others are in stall
As they watch the White lead grow and grow.
We're dreaming of a White Wacoff
With every Kettle Black drive in the lake
If the scores are true and not fake
Then surely the Wacoff will be White’s to take.
game on.
SEASONAL REJOINDER
AUGUST 2009
R. HARDESTY
YOU MIGHT AS WELL CRY
YOU MIGHT AS WELL POUT
VIRGIN WHITE KNOWS
WHAT WE’RE TALKIN ABOUT
KETTLE BLACK IS COMING TO TOWN
THEY’RE HONING THEIR SWINGS
MAKING THEM NICE
THERE WON’T BE A HOOK
AND NARY A SLICE
KETTLE BLACK IS COMING TO TOWN
THEY’LL BEAT YOU IF YOU’RE SLEEPING
OR IF YOU’RE WIDE AWAKE
THEY’LL BEAT YOU DRUNK OR SOBER,
SO LET’S DRINK FOR GOODNESS SAKE…OH
ITS ALL IN THE CARDS
SO WHY EVEN TRY?
VIRGIN WHITE KNOWS
THEY’LL LOSE BY AND BY
KETTLE BLACK IS COMING TO TOWN
KETTLE BLACK IS COMING TO TOWN.
Virgins, BAH, we spit on all 72 of you.
Ron Hardesty
August 21, 2010
Alright now. Steers. I’m talking Longhorns. Horns 7’ tip to tip, 2500 pounds of raw unbridled muscle and brains to match the brawn. Able to go the distance and then some under all conditions. Steers! Chickens? What the cluck? Sheep? BAAAA humbug. Oxen? The yoke’s on you. Dinosaurs? Dead and gone. Turtles? Tough to beat if there’s a hare to fool (there ain’t). Goats? Goats? Come on now. STEERS. The rest of y’all may as well stay home.
Yee Haw, STEERS
Ron Hardesty
September 5, 2011
Man, I thought The Committee, in All of its Wonder, was a passive, laissez faire, unbiased, Fabianistic supporter of WACOFF sportsmanship. How silly I must feel now.
My thoughts about team colors are slightly different than those expressed by The Committee (or That Part Of The Committee That Prematurely Gloats):
I’m thinking at the end of the day (Saturday the 17th of September) these descriptions may be more apt:
Glen’s Envious Greenies
Bretz’ Blue in the Face Boys
PC’s Zipper-skin Angiosperms
Nielsen’s (ok, you got me…”winos” was what I had in mind)
and Monsieur James Coughenour’s “ L’equipe Maillot Jaune”.
Now, I’ve read the WACOFF rules, and thank goodness they don’t seem to prohibit the use of HGHs, Blood Doping or anabolic steroids, nor do the rules include any testing prior to the awarding of The Trophy. As a result, Mr. James Coughenour’s leadership, and that alone, will solely be held responsible for the fate of his Scramble team. Drugs will have nothing to do with it.
Jimmy has been coaching and training his team for days. You may not even recognize L’equipe Maillot Jaune’s finely honed players this year: 4 humongously proportioned athletes of the game of golf, practiced in the minutia of the links, prepared mentally and physically as no previous foursome in WACOFF annals. Skilled in visualization, they effortlessly make par fives into virtual three pars, use choked lob wedges to dreamily reach 200 yard par 3s and half swing irons to drive the par 4s. Those of you not under Jimmy’s tutelage are to be pitied!
Practice has been arduous under this demonic, relentless, giant of a leader, which has reduced his team’s margin of error to unheard tolerances. JC’s Philosophy is simple. “why practice from the sand? We shall practice not going in the sand! Why practice knock down hooks from the woods? We shall practice staying on the fairway! Why carry all those clubs in your bag? We shall carry more booze!” Revolutionary? Perhaps. Sound judgment? Perhaps not, but, the proof will be in the pudding. And L’equipe Maillot Jaune will be eating that pudding! (Are they serving pudding this year?)
The Tullymore presents 18 distinct yet equally important holes of golf. But like the stages of the Tour De France… the winner need not win every stage to win the event. He who ends with the Yellow Jersey is the winner. If Truth Be Told, most of Jimmy’s team will end up with the yellow jerseys. Why? Because they started with them, and they are trained to not lose them. Ever. Unfair advantage? Maybe. Deal with it. Vive la’ Jimmie! Vive L’equipe Maillot Jaune! Vive la bagatelle!
Paul Coughenour
August 18, 2012
Ox step on Rat and squish him
Ox gore Tiger and bleed him
Ox chase Rabbit off field of play
Ox eat Dog
Ox have Robert Palmer and hot chicks
Life is good for Ox
Paul Coughenour
August 21, 2013
Dear WACOFF Opponents, I provide you fair warning of the ferocity of the WACOFF Badger. Read on.
When people think of ferocious animals, they think of the big ones – longhorns, bulldogs, tigers, bears. But as it turns out, there are few animals on earth that are stouter of heart than a certain mammal no bigger than a terrier. Cross a WACOFF badger and you cross what Guinness named the most fearless mammal on earth.
The WACOFF badger is native to the Midwestern United States, living in a variety of habitats in its wide range. From western Michigan lake country to the hills of Farmington, from big woodsy pointes to fields in bloom, it trots over great distances in constant search of food to fuel its impressive metabolism. Seeking safe haven in underground burrows or inside rock crevices, the WACOFF badger is an active hunter in the daylight hours. Most badgers are nocturnal and have poor eyesight, relying instead on a highly developed sense of smell to find food. But the WACOFF badger is built for hunting anything it can get its mouth around during the light of day. Everything from burgers and fries up to formidable meals like bulldogs, longhorns, bears and tigers are potential sources of food for this miraculous member of the weasel family.
Being active in the daytime is not the only trait that sets the WACOFF badger apart from other WACOFFites. The WACOFF badger possesses long booming irons and highly accurate wedges, even though its teeth are not as adapted for crushing. It has fewer teeth, but those it has are adapted to biting and holding on tight. It also sports a defense that’s more commonly developed in skunks than badgers. If an enemy gets too close, the WACOFF badger will unleash a chemical assault from its backside. Specialized anal glands secret a nauseating liquid that can drive off even the most fearsome foe.
As the name implies, the WACOFF badger is fond of the sweet pleasures of victory in the WACOFF Scramble. And remarkably, through the wonders of evolution, it has devised a rather ingenious way of obtaining it. Using various tools of their trade, including melded metal club heads attached to metal or graphite sticks and flat blades for smooth surfaces and shorter distances, the WACOFF badger is able to send small white orbs on piercing flights through the air to a targeted destination, without harming the surrounding environment. As if it has a mind of its own, the small white orb or ball quickly finds a safe and secure location six inches below the smooth green surface on which it lightly lands, there to be plucked up by the happy hand of a WACOFF badger. In short, the WACOFF badger relies on its finely honed muscles and innate intelligence to achieve its victory.
Aside from its highly refined skills with clubs, blades and balls, the WACOFF badger is known for its fearless disposition. Its skin is thick and tough, and hangs loosely from its body, reducing damage to vital organs if it is bitten in a fight. But defense is only part of its reputation. The WACOFF badger can dish out punishment with the best of them. If its noxious chemical musk isn’t enough to drive away an assailant, it can bite with great force and will not let go until its adversary loses consciousness or shakes the badger off. The WACOFF badger proves that bravery in the golf kingdom can come in small packages.
See you all soon!
Paul W. Coughenour
Tim Guerriero
Sep 4, 2013
“In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility;
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger:
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Now set the teeth, and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath, and bend up every spirit
To his full height!”
Wm. Shakespeare
BEWARE THE TIGER.
WACOFF 2013
Bretz, Daniel J.
9/4/13
Sure. Team Tiger. We’ve seen this train wreck before…
Presents well. Lots of endorsement contracts. Big money. It all goes swimmingly until your wife takes a nine iron to your Escalade and your face because you can’t stop banging the bimbos from Perkins and cheesy strip clubs.
Juice up boys. It ain’t gonna help.
Dan B
John Stimson wrote:
Tim,
At first glance, I thought you were making a comment about Syria.
Now, realizing you were addressing Team Tiger’s opponents, not Syria, it is clear that the words you sent are apropos. What distinguishes Tiger’s opponents from Syria and President Assad is the IRREFUTABLE evidence that the Tiger’s opponents have stepped over the “red line,’ that the “calculus has changed” and that those responsible therefor must suffer. Even Russian President Putin agrees with Team Tiger on this. Hence, it is our duty as a WACOFF superpower to demonstrate to the WACOFFS and to the World that such transgressions of international norms will not go unpunished.
Paul Nielsen wrote:
9/4/13
Longhorns are known for their gentle disposition and intelligence. As a consequence, I have attempted to refrain from injecting my team into the petty cat fighting that has erupted among the less-noble and more-surly animals among us. However, I cannot let Mr. Eglide’s comments go unanswered lest I be accused of leading from behind. While I appreciate Brother Hyman’s attempt to restore our honor, he has only scratched the surface and was obviously diverted by the base ploy of injecting female sirens into the mix.
Let it be said that Longhorns are not only known for their long irons, but are known for their length generally. Therefore, be prepared to suffer the consequences of (among other things) our long drives, long putts for birdie, longneck beer consumption, long cigars, long and hearty laughter and, yes, accurate long irons. And the end of the day, however, it will not be the Longhorns wearing the long faces.
On Sep 4, 2013, at 3:29 PM, Ron Hardety wrote:
Paul, what are you smoking? (I want some)
Of course I would never mix political metaphors with WACOFF analysis, though if Tigers did use chemical warfare against the lesser and transgressing animals on Saturday, my fervent hope would be that the rest of the golfing world would find other things to do with it's indignant morality and smart bombs. Fact is, Tigers eat Badgers and Bulldogs like Spaniards eat topas; cheaply and by the handful. Even the fiercest Bear is no match for the mighty Tiger, much less the Teddies we will see on Saturday. Longhorn is just another word for "bull", and taking one by the horns will be child's play.
I stand with Tim's classical bent, and John's political acumen, but I think full warfare is hardly needed when a minor skirmish is all that is on the horizon. It is indeed the Year of the Tiger and I fully expect the resounding chorus from the menagerie (their tails between legs) on Saturday night to be, "you're GREAT".
HEAR THE ROAR!
Ron
WACOFF 2017
On Aug 22, 2017, at 6:11 PM, Paul Nielsen wrote:
According to Wikipedia: “[a]long with crows, ravens, and jays (family Corvidae), parrots are considered the most intelligent of birds.” While we see that Ravens will also be teeing it up on Saturday, it appears that most of them are in the Coughenour subspecies, known more for their organizational and rulemaking skills than problem solving. We doubt that the one Raven from the Hardesty subspecies can make the other ravens rise to his level. More likely, the opposite will happen. The other birds flocking to Boyne? Nah!!
Further, according to Wikipedia, “[n]ot only have parrots demonstrated intelligence through scientific testing of their language-using ability, but also some species of parrots … are also highly skilled at using tools and solving puzzles.” It goes without saying that these talents are critical to navigating the difficult and thought-provoking WACOFF Scramble Championship. Rumor has it that at least a couple of the Parrots have assembled some new tools just for this purpose.
Finally, “[p]lay forms a large part of learning in parrots; it can be solitary, and related to motor skills, or social.” Id. Again, it is difficult to see how any of the other avian golfers can match the set of attributes possessed by the Parrot, which conform exactly to those needed to win the most coveted trophy in the land. Plus, we are better looking, too. We hope all the rest of you feathered hackers have fun anyway.
- Team Parrot
From Larry Mann:
Delusional - Parrots apparently ingest mood/mind altering substances.
Randy Moss <rdmoss62@gmail.com>
Aug 22, 2017 at 9:07 PM
Larry? You got a problem with delusional mood/mind altering substances? Stop the presses! What's next? Marshall busting wacoffs for possession? The horror!
On Aug 22, 2017, at 5:20 PM, Coughenour, Paul W. <PCoughenour@ClarkHill.com> wrote:
Hey! Ravens NEVER want to be scurvy parrots...
On Aug 22, 2017, at 7:35 PM, Ronald C. Hardesty <ron@hardestylaw.com> wrote:
If that is true, I want to be on Team Parrot, or at least the name of their contact!
WACOFF 2018
On Aug 21, 2018, at 4:24 PM, Ronald C. Hardesty <ron@hardestylaw.com> wrote:
f you’d like to spend the afternoon contesting Lavender
You’ll feel just fine but one thing’s for sure: you’ll never be the same.
If you’d like to try your hand at beating Lavender,
Then you must be very sure that golf’s not just a game.
You might even learn a thing or two from Lavender
If in fact you can endure; forgetting your own name.
You won’t need a reason just to lose to Lavender
For their shots so true and pure will burn you like a flame.
The only color that will surround you will be the shade of Lavender
Their birdies dancing everywhere, enclosing you in pain.
You’ll find your tongue’s on fire while vying with team Lavender
With words you never spoke before and will not speak again.
If you’d like to spend the afternoon contesting Lavender
Don’t try to get the best of them, you’ve only you to blame.
If you try your hand at understanding Lavender
Then you must be very sure that golf’s just not a game
There is no shame
In losing
(with apologies to Gordon Lightfoot).
On Aug 21, 2018, at 4:34 PM, Marshal Hyman <marshalh@marshalhyman.com> wrote:
Dear Old Ron,
You should apologize to more than Lightfoot for that one. Thank you, though for if I can keep your email handy, especially at night, I never will have a problem falling to sleep again. What was that?
We at team Paprika prefer just a refrain, as opposed to going all Weird Al on one tune that must have been top 100 when you were a kid.
Consider these, if you will, mostly from songs we all heard of before:
Paprika was a rolling stone, falling into a hole it calls home…..
Lovely Paprika, meter maid, made three eagles and a hole in one today!
Paprika in the sky with diamonds
Paprika don’t preach, or sway, or lift the head, or
Paprika don’t preach we are on the green in two,
Paprika don’t preach we will win by more than a few.
So, take a double dose of geritol, sleep well and just because its legal does not mean it is good for you.
Marshal E. Hyman
Aug 21 at 10:07 PM
The Sage Ones will teach you all. You spice boys can watch and learn.
On: 21 August 2018 20:50, "Paul Nielsen" wrote:
Rosemary will leaf that alone. We prefer to speak softly and carry a big sprig.
On Tue, Aug 21, 2018, 7:03 PM Coughenour, Paul W. wrote:
Larry and I have no thyme for such foolishness, we’re working on our games!
DONT FUCK WITH THE COMMITTEE
April 6, 2021
On Tuesday, April 6, 2021, 12:00:29 PM EDT, Paul and Beth Nielsen <pbpcnielsen@gmail.com> wrote:
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m looking forward to playing on September 31. I imagine that we take track 9-3/4 to the course, which should be fun.
The Committee responded:
THE COMMITTEE notes that any typographical errors contained in its communications are the fault of unknown international hackers who have infiltrated our system and are planting disinformation in order to destabilize the authority and omniscience of THE COMMITTEE. This is The Big Lie. Any suggestion by the faithful that THE COMMITTEE is inept, inattentive, incompetent or otherwise impaired in carrying out its mission will be dealt with in the most unsavory and diabolical manner imaginable. Be careful, be very careful. Your handicap depends upon your discretion.
YROBTSVTS
THE COMMITTEE